NLIC.org

Gene Said:

Short Story Help!!! Need tentative ideas!!?

We Answered:

I know my younger sister answered yours yesterday (Lexy) and I'm on her account.
I'm an English teacher, so I can help you.

1) Yes
2) It really is ironic, no (I agree with my sister's choice. It really does seem to fit perfectly.)
3) Yes
4) Yes. You didn't capitalize I every time you used it. (Ex: I just wanted them to stop and recognize i was awake.) Change it to I just wanted them to stop and recognize I was awake.
Also, you are using I too many times to start a sentence. You had 8 sentences (3 back-to-back. 2 is okay, but only occasionally) that started with I. Try re-phrasing them or grouping them together. There is also a few grammar mistakes.
Here is my rewrite of the excerpt of the story you supplied;


I woke up, frenzied voices all around me. I just wanted them to stop and recognize I was awake. Waiting, I watched as the surgeons carried a tray of tools over to my bedside. They soon noticed that I was awake and after a few minutes I dozed off again, with slight discomfort in my leg.
Gently, I awoke for a second time and ensured that I was supposed to be awake. As I felt the debilitating effects of my leg surgery I realized why I was there, and questioned what I had done wrong. I felt a throbbing ache in my hand from the IV, and heard muffled voices outside my room. Looking glass window, I saw the back of my sister Julia’s dark chestnut hair, and her husband Paul’s dishevelled blonde cut. Knowing that she was there brought a wave of relief to me, and realization as well. I failed at my attempt because of her, because of the hope in the back of my mind that we could be a family again. When Julia turned to Paul, I could see her profile, and how she was padding her eyes gently with a navy blue cloth. Her grey eyes were always the first thing I noticed about her. It was not the brightness or the youth, but the calmness in her eyes with which they considered the world in front of her. “It really is ironic, no?” she sobbed to her husband. “He was always looking to make others happy, but when it came to helping himself he wanted nothing to do with it.”
I hadn’t seen my sister for several years and desperately wanted to greet her, but was confined to making nothing more than an anaesthetized murmur. The last time I said goodbye was leaving the hospital, only to carry the burden of the financial costs of medical recovery. Julia, would never truly understand that I had nothing to do with the death of our parents, and it was mere coincidence I survived. We were on her way to her dance exam, filled with pride to have a family member going to Juilliard. It was merely bad road conditions, combined with the haste brought upon by my parents' tendency to be late. The financial costs of the hospital drained both our life insurance and our savings.



So, there you go. You may use it, if you like. I would really enjoy reading the whole story if I were your teacher, and with all the grammar corrected, would probably give you a 96! On a scale of 10, it's a 9.6!

Eduardo Said:

what are normal refi closing costs? Can I negotiate? HELP!!!?

We Answered:

Most things can be negotiated, however to be successful you will need to be prepared to walk away from the deal. Here are the negotiable items you listed.

1250 for an application fee - Somewhat negotiable
1250 for processing fee - Totally negotiable
800 escrow - usually non-negotiable depending LTV ratio
100 title exam - Non-negotiable (Outside vendor)
250 notary - Non-negotiable (I assume based on the high cost this is a mobile notary that is coming to you, a normal rate would be $5-$15 per signature)
500 attorney/settlement agent - This one confuses me, you should need a settlement agent or notary, not both If you use a settlement agent they will notarize the necessary documents. Non-negotiable (Outside vendor)
1135 title insurance - non-negotiable (Outside vendor)
30 courier - non-negotiable (Outside vendor)
150 recording fees - Non-negotiable (Government Fee)

Jeanette Said:

What are typical costs fro selling your home with a real estate agent?

We Answered:

Hi JC. I just sold a home. The agent gave you very good information. Obviously, exact fees vary from state to state. But, you will pay commission and "closing costs" when you sell and a good agent will try to accurately estimate these numbers for you. She may be a good one!

Best wishes and good luck.

Ruby Said:

Film Please? B/W British film of 1930's:Poor young lad in N of England wants to be doctor.?

We Answered:

I think you are probably thinking about The Citadel, which starred Robert Donat as an idealistic Doctor in the mining areas of South Wales.