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Willie Said:

Saving a home from foreclosure due to illness?

We Answered:

When people get near foreclosure they usually simply give up. What they don't realize is that by simply calling the lender that holds the mortgage you can discover multiple options that you didn't know were available. If that doesn't work and If your mother bought her house with an FHA mortgage I suggest you call FHA directly, they will help for certain. Other options include refinancing the house in a manner to allow for a more affordable payment or even a "reverse mortgage" which basically uses existing equity to pay all or part of the payment.

But if Mom is destined for long term care it might be in her best interest to sell the house which would likely be necessary for her to take advantage of medicaid benefits. I think the rule is that she can't own assets (a house is an asset) to get the benefits.

If you aren't paying the minimum payments of the credit cards, you are screwing up her credit and you won't be able to refinance at a good rate. The only option to avoid a foreclosure (which will come if she gets behind in payments) and save her equity is to put the house on the market immediately and hope you sell it before the bank send you a demand notice (to pay the loan in full). At least this way Mom will be able to utilize her equity to buy a new house when she gets back on her feet.

Terry Said:

Should I ask him to sign an agreement?

We Answered:

Oh boy, that's a toughie. I think it is always better to be safe than sorry. If your boyfriend is a good person, which is sounds like he is, and wants the best for you, he will have no problem signing an agreement you both decide is fair. Even if he is offended, he will get over it. You don't want to end up getting screwed over again!

I would approach it very gingerly, feel him out, see what his reaction is to signing an agreement. If he seems fine with it, or even suggests something himself, great! If he does seem offended or unwilling, just gently remind him of the times you guys have already had the rug pulled out from under you and that you're just trying to be completely safe. If he gets mad, it will probably only be for a short while, then he will come to terms. However, if he doesn't sign something and ends up trying to pull a fast one, it will be permanent.

Good luck, I hope all goes well!

Lena Said:

s it wierd that this 40 almost 41 year old woman is interested in a 28 year old male who has a disability?

We Answered:

Follow your instincts, they're probably right.

Edna Said:

What should my next step be? Ask him or not?

We Answered:

Don't put anything in his name until you're married!

If his father's life insurance has come through to your mother in law, she should reimburse you, if she hasn't already.

It's good you are so self sufficient. I'm sorry for all your troubles.

Norman Said:

Is it wierd that this 40 almost 41 year old woman is interested in a 28 year old male who has a disability?

We Answered:

NEVER move in with anyone you do not know from just chatting online. You must meet them and spend some time with them first. Go visit for 2 weeks and see if you can still stand each other. You need to be sure you feel comfortable living in HER house and whether it feels welcoming or not. You need to be sure she HAS a couch for you to sleep on - and that it gives you enough privacy. You need to be sure that your lifestyle and idiosyncracies are compatible.

You are not marrying this woman, so her life history really is to business of yours. You are intending to be roommates - so see if that works.

I am in a ten year relationship with a man who is 9 years younger than me - it works for us!