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Gertrude Said:

What should I do not to make my surrogate feel used? Also, what other questions sound I ask her?

We Answered:

I can see it's been a hectic road for you! I am however, surprised to see that a 19 year old would be hiring a surrogate. Unless you've been medically checked out & know you can't have kids, I'd just relax & let things happen. But 17 months is a long time ttc...

These are very good questions. I'm assuming that you are doing a private thing & not going through an agency, right? Agencies have special criteria and have asked most of these questions already.

A surrogate mother should not feel "used" because she knows what the criteria of the job is when she "applies" for it. Since she has been a surrogate mom to the two girls before, she knows how to deal with these feelings.

If she is currently a drinker or a smoker, I would stop the process right there- I know you probably would, but seriously! Since she just carried twin baby girls, I hope she isn't.

I'm surprised to read question #9.. I never thought of HER insurance covering the pregnancy, even though she is the pregnant one.. something to keep in mind is:
- a first time surrogate costs about $20,000
- a second time surrogate (which she is) costs about $30,000
- a third time surrogate costs about $35,000.

She may lower the fees or whatever, its really entirely up to her. But I know that the cost does rise with "experience".

That's cute that you want to keep her involved after the birth if she'd like that. I think these are really good questions. Some ways that you could relieve the feeling of "using her" would be to:
- send her a fruit basket (perhaps 2, since she'll be eating for 2 *like a cute joke)
- send her flowers with a "thank you" card
- call her & talk to her about her feelings, like: is the baby kicking? do you have morning sickness? how much weight have you gained? etc..
- you could throw her, I mean, yourself, a baby shower (this is crazy! I never thought of the stuff surrounding a surrogate) and ask your guests to bring 2 gifts, 1 for the baby and 1 for her. (like bath & body stuff, gift cards, etc...)

good luck~ I hope I helped..

Grace Said:

Travel insurance / doctors certificate at 28-30 weeks pregnant, any ideas?!?

We Answered:

Hi and congrats!!!
Well i user to work for an airline and we required an doctors cert for pregnancy over 28 weeks. These shouldnt cost you anything, as all that need to be stated on the letter is
your name and address
your expected due date
and weather your doctrs see's no reasons why you are unfit to fly.(eg, doc can state- my patients Mrs_______ has had no complications throughout her pregnancy and I feel she is ok to fly?feel that she is good health etc).

Im sure you can ring up your doctors receptionist and ask for one(they will of had to write out loads so they will know exactly what to say) get it signed by your doctor and just collect it off her at reception. therefor you will not have to make an appointment and therefor shouldnt cost you anything,

As for insurance, Blue insurance do great cover.
Do you have private health insurance-this may cover you?
Or if you are flying within the EU you can get a European health insurance card which is free(well im from Ireland and they are here-im sure its the same in UK).

Hope this helps,
x

Ruby Said:

How to make a surrogacy not feel used I guess? Also what other questions to ask her?

We Answered:

Go to the website message boards and seach, "questions to ask a surrogate". That will bring up MANY threads of conversation pertaining to your question. You can read them and find the ones you would like to ask. Also, answers to any other surro subject you may have questions about. I wish you all the luck with your journey. It is an emotional journey, but to me well worth it. Search in the website: Surrogatemothersonline.com. Best wishes from another IP of a TS!